


Operation Getting Back Craig

by kendollie



Category: South Park
Genre: Break Up, Getting Back Together, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Slight Drama, i'll add tags later as the story progress, very angsty at the start
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-06-19 22:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15520548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kendollie/pseuds/kendollie
Summary: “Craig-”“Tweek, if you are going to convince me that breaking up with you is stupid, I’m not gonna listen.”“I’m not calling because of that…” a huge pause and a deep breathe later “but breaking up with me is indeed stupid.”“Then why?”“Why? I don’t know. Don’t you find it odd that you’re in my apartment?”…Tweek believed that couples only break up for a couple of specified reasons. Some people broke up together since their partner cheated. Some broke up since they fell out of love and the feeling is not there anymore. Some broke up because they choose other things over their lover. Finally, some also broke up because their partner thinks that they needed to protect them and they think that their loved one deserved someone better than them. Tweek personally think that the last one is the most stupid one.A story of how you unconsciously bugged your ex into getting back together, because you know, can’t really call it a ‘serious’ break up unless he blocked you on all social media platform known to man.





	1. Break Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakups usually happen when you think that everything is alright.

"Tweek... it's not you. _It's me_."

Tweek stared at Craig with wide disbelieving eyes. He his jaw slackening as he stared dumbfounded at Craig. The blond gulped nervously, shaking his head a couple of times as if he was urging his mind to snap out of a hallucination.

"Tweek, listen to me," Craig started once again, taking hold of the trembling blonde’s left hand.

"I... I am sorry. It's just..." Craig cleared his throat, "I can't do this anymore," his voice faltered, and he let go of Tweek's hand as he leaned back against his seat, eyes darting away towards the large window in the cafe.

It was their favorite café.

Tweek tentatively sipped at his coffee, disregarding the fact that it was piping hot and it burned his tongue. He needed to do something to distract himself. The once comforting ambiance of the place started to suffocate him. Tweek blinked once, then twice, and on the third time, he could feel the prickles of tears at the back of his eyes.

"You are breaking up with me _again_?" he asked, voice cracking at the end. "... This is stupid, Craig."

The dark haired man tugged at the flap of his chullo, eyes focusing anywhere but not on Tweek. He offered no explanation what so ever on why he was breaking up with the blond.

"I don't want to break up," Tweek finally admitted voice hoarse from trying so hard to control the water works.

The blond stared up at the ceiling, willing the tears to roll back inside his eyes if that is even possible.

"...Tweek," Craig breathe out. "We could still be friends," he offered.

Tweek bit the inside of his cheeks, still staring upward at the ceiling. Why offer something else when they already had what Tweek wanted?

"I don't want to be just friends," he replied, voice as steady as he could manage. "Breaking up is stupid... Your break up line is even more stupid!" he exclaimed, voicing rising up at the end.

Tweek closed his eyes, tears were going to start kicking their way out any time from now.

Breath in... breathe out...

Tweek tried harder to calm himself this time. Rehearsing over his head the mental exercise his therapist told him years ago.

"Tweek... _please_."

The blond could hear the desperation on Craig's voice. It was there laced in every syllable that was coming out from his mouth.

For a short while, Tweek studied Craig. He looked at the man that he had been together with for a good chunk of his life time. The bags underneath his eyes were dark, his clothing a little bit rumpled and he looked tired, really, really tired.

"Tweek... I'm really sorry," Craig repeated. "Look, buddy, I need you to understand me this time."

 _Buddy._ Tweek had never been Craig's buddy not since fourth grade. He was his honey, babe, and sweetheart, but never his _buddy_. It was just a word, but Tweek found himself taking a sharp breathe just hearing it right from Craig's lips.

"Please, understand."

There was that word again. Understand. Did Craig think Tweek never understand him? Tweek Tweak knew Craig Tucker like no one else in this world. He understands the meaning behind every single detail about the dark-haired man. He understands the meaning behind his every word. He understands Craig more than he could even understand himself.

And as Tweek started to think about how much he understands Craig, ironically, it also dawned to him that Craig was indeed serious about splitting up. Those dark circles underneath his eyes meant he was thinking so hard about it, possibly for days. The rumpled clothing meant that Craig hesitated on doing this, on showing up and breaking the news to him. His blatant exhaustion meant that it was affecting Craig more seriously than it appears. The way that the taller man apologizes and put all blame on his shoulder was all the indication Tweek needed. Craig Tucker genuinely wanted to break up with his childhood sweetheart Tweek Tweak.

Tweek started to hate the fact that he knew Craig too well. He could not convince himself that the man was lying and he could be reasoned to.

"Okay," Tweek muttered, smiling shakily at Craig.

He got hold of his coffee, not that hot since he took his last sip from it. Fidgeting, he gulped it down in one go. The once comforting bitter taste of coffee was gone as it clung to his mouth like the taste of spoil milk, like a remnant of the reality that Craig was breaking up with him. He had the urge to hate the coffee like he had the urge to hate Craig.

With shaky hands, he started to collect his things. It's not much, just his wallet, phone and earphones that he casually placed earlier at their table.

Their table.

He looked around the shop a final time. There were so many memories in here. This was where he and Craig had their first date when they were freshmen in college. The shop has great lighting and cozy booths. The coffee is beyond decent at a very reasonable price. The barista was really cool such as the other staffs. Tweek felt it was more than a coincidence that they were breaking up in here.

It was such a pity because he really liked this shop, but he had a feeling that he would not step inside here anytime soon.

That was why he did not want to break up with Craig. Breaking up was not only about splitting ways with the person. It was more than that. For example, avoiding the place they love because it reminded them too much of their previous another half.

"I'm going," Tweek whispered as he got up, needing a fresh breath of air and a change of scenery.

The scraping sound of his chair against the floor sounded louder than it actually was.

"Where are you going?" Craig asked him, surprised and as if broken in a trance.

"Apartment," Tweek replied. "It's alright. I understand," he reached over and pat Craig's head, a thing he never did until now.

"Don't want to cry in front of you," Tweek attempted to joke, but his voice failed him.

Craig did not answer just nod. He also did not get up on his seat. No final hug, no final kiss. Craig just sat there. Probably waiting for him to go.

Tweek's heart clenched. He knew that he was not the only one hurting in here, but it did not mean that since he understood Craig that he would already disregard his feelings. He was hurting too. He only had himself now. He had no real reason to be selfless. Being selfless is definitely being stupid.

"See you when I see you," Tweek said politely, nodding curtly at Craig. His eyes were glazed over.

"Tweek... it's never been your fault," he heard Craig whispered, too soft that he almost missed it.

Tweek stopped on his tracks, and he glanced back at Craig. Craig looked miserable, far miserable than any time Tweek had seen him down. Tweek's heart clenched at the sight. Craig was being stupid... too stupid in fact.

"Call me if you change your mind," Tweek couldn't help but said, already knowing deep down that Craig would not do it anytime soon.

"You're just being an idiot," Tweek said one last time as he practically mentally dragged his body out of the café, plugging his earphone and blasting the stupid break up playlist that he created almost a month ago when Craig previously broke up with him. He did not think that he was going to play it this soon.

Tweek waved without looking back at Craig. Trying to act like he did not care at all and he would be fine.

He gotta admit he is really a great actor. Maybe he should pursue acting. Be rich and famous then, later on, slapped on Craig's face what he had missed just by being idiotic. He did not look bad either. Blond, tall, lean, green eyes, he could even say that he was a looker, some girls even approached him when they thought that he was straight.

"Ooohhh, Tweek. You're getting way too ahead of yourself," Tweek mumbled to himself, looking up at the busy street of Denver.

He needed to get wasted.

 


	2. Drunk Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because breakups are a vicious cycle of not being okay and being okay.

And indeed, Tweek got wasted.

Tweek leaned at the wall and stared at his bare bedroom, eyes glazed over like he was not himself and some demonic spirit possessed him. He took another gulp from the bottle that he was drinking from. The sting at the back of his throat caused by the alcohol somehow ground him between reality and dream.

Oddly enough, he was seeing Craig right in front of him, sitting down on his bed and looking sadly at the large box at the center of the room. Tweek knew that he was only seeing things again that was how alcohol’s magic always work on him. He was aware that Craig was not really in the room even though he was seeing him. It was just his mind conjuring up an illusion that was an exact carbon copy of his boyfriend. Scratch that.  _Ex-boyfriend_. As if Craig would care that he already boxed every piece of item that screamed Craig Tucker in his bedroom.

His room looked lonely with a bare mattress, dresser, cabinet and the large box at the middle. He stripped down the bed sheet because it smelled like Craig. He removed every paraphernalia that he had from pictures to posters to little random knick knacks because it was related to Craig one way or another.  Even his favorite Persian rug that was the main centerpiece of his room was not in sight. Craig loved sitting crossed leg on the middle of it, pretending he was meditating or something. It hurt so much to look at it and it was the first thing that Tweek chucked inside the ‘Craig’s Box’.

Tweek sighed tears at the corner of his eyes. He felt like his room, nothing without any trace of Craig in it.

Craig, Craig, Craig. Everything about Tweek is about Craig.

Tweek took another swig of the alcohol, gulping it down as fast as he could, not caring that it felt like shards of ice were scraping inside the hollow confines of his throat. Maybe if he had too much alcohol he could finally sleep and forget Craig even for a fraction of a second.

He let the bottle slipped through his fingers as soon as he emptied it. It clanked as it collided with the other bottle laying casually on the floor. Its sound snapping Tweek slightly at his current state of self-pity.

He blinked his eyes for a couple of times.  _Blink_. Craig’s illusion was gazing at their picture at the top of the large box. His translucent blue eyes were sad as if it did not understand why the picture was in there. Why it was taken away.  _Blink_. Craig’s eyes were now on his, gaze burning as he mouthed the words that it was never Tweek’s fault why they broke up _. Blink._ And now Craig was right into his face, expression set on its usual stoic state: blank and unreadable.

Tweek rubbed his eyes. It felt eerily cold even though it was the peak of summer season.

Tweek let himself slide down on the floor. He hugged his knees against his chest as he rocked himself back and forth, trying to comfort and give himself some solace.

Even though his vision was already doubling, he propped himself up and he shakily moved toward the kitchen. Maybe he would have another bottle or two. Or maybe as much as he needed until he blacked out or he puked out his guts. Whatever happened first he did not care.

Tweek found himself on the small table of his equally small kitchen. Another bottle of alcohol open in his hand. He took a tentative sip, wincing at the taste still not used to it even he already had too many.

He pushed back his blond hair as it clinged irritably at his temples. It got longer as it already brushed past his shoulder. The blond locks curling slightly at the end. Craig loved those curls. He loved running his fingers on it, saying that it was soft and fluffy. Maybe he should cut it short, make as many petty reasons as he could to justify within himself why Craig split up with him.

A low squeak escape past his lips as his phone vibrated on his pocket, with shaky hands he opened his phone, the sudden flood of light made him squint at the screen. An unknown number messaged him.

_Maybe it was Craig._

His heart thumped hard against his chest as he unlocked his phone. The unknown number was not Craig’s. It was a random advertiser. His heart clenched.

“Stupid me…” Tweek slumped down at the table, way more disappointed than he already did. He got worked up over nothing. As if Craig would text him. The stupid man might already had his phone off or he might be already blocked.

Idly, Tweek thumbed through his phone. No calls, no messages, nothing. Stupid Craig. Why did he even break up with him this time? What exactly happened?

Tweek snorted at his own childishness. Why did he not ask Craig about it earlier?  _Oh, right._  He was afraid of the answer.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Tweek found himself dialing Craig’s number. A laugh bubbled from him. What was the sense of deleting Craig’s number if he already had it memorized?

He was laughing at his own silliness when Craig’s deep voice cut through the line.

“Hello?”

“I’m drunk calling you,” Tweek announced sobering up a little bit now that it was sinking in that he was talking to Craig. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Or maybe he shouldn’t call at all.

“You hate alcohol.”

“Not anymore.”

“Tweek… I don’t want you to self-destruct,”Craig's voice was stern as if he was talking to a kid.

“I’m just drinking. I’m not self-destructing or whatever.”

Tweek was tempted to add the word yet, but he was not really calling to pick a fight with Craig. He just wanted to hear his voice. He was a hopeless case, a large contradiction. He desperately wanted to forget Craig and at the same time here he was calling the said one that he wanted to forget.

“Sure, whatever you say,” was Craig’s clipped reply.

Silence engulfed the line. A sad smile graced Tweek’s lips. So that was it? No ‘don’t be hard on yourself’ or ‘please take care of yourself’ caring lines? It was crystal clear. Craig just did not care anymore. He felt his heart breaking. Tweek bit into his knuckles to suppress a sob from escaping him.

“Bye, sorry for intruding,” he hastily said as he ended the call.

He set his phone down on the table as he got up. Bottle of liquor forgotten behind as he walked towards his roommate’s room. He was sure Kyle would not mind that he was sleeping in here once he knew what happened. On the other hand, Kyle was also not there as he went home for the weekend maybe he did not need to explain himself either.

He did not want to talk about him and Craig. What was there to talk about? That even the longest term childhood couple of South Park breaks up?

With a sharp intake of breath, Tweek burrowed his head in Kyle’s pillow, crying his heart out and for once letting his mind wander in dark places. He let himself feed into various theories about why Craig did break up with him.

It felt terrible, but it also kind of felt good to some degree. Maybe he was turning into a masochist. Tweek snickered at his own thoughts as he wiped away his own tears.

As his eyes grew heavy he found himself in a dreamless sleep.

…

His head throbbed badly when he woke up. Thankfully, he had no urge to vomit and his stomach did not feel funny. Tweek looked around his surrounding, still disoriented why he was not in his room. He felt himself blushing a bright red as it dawned on him that he barged into Kyle’s room the previous night. He never did it before, sleeping in Kyle’s room when he was extremely upset, and he felt embarrassed by his own actions.

Even with a painful headache, he tried to fix the bed as much as possible, cheeks staining into a deep red as he realized that the pillowcase was ruined with his tears. Its brown murky color leaved marks on the border edge of the tear stains. It looked extremely hideous against the white pillowcase. He needed to wash it before Kyle found any evidence of his breakdown.

Funny as it sounds, he did not want to tell anyone that he and Craig broke up again. People tend to say that they would get back together in no time, and truthfully, deep into his gut, he was clinging to that exact thought.

He did not have an idea what exactly time it was, but Tweek found himself throwing the pillowcase on the washer and collecting the bottles of alcohol he drank all by himself last night. He absentmindedly drained the contents of his last bottle in the kitchen sink, when he realized he left his phone in the kitchen.

Wiping his hand on his shirt, he picked up his phone with only the intention of checking the time. He was pleasantly surprised to see that he had three miscalls and one message.

**I’m checking up on you later. Please, don’t bother leaving. I still have a copy of your keys.**

A smile tugged at Tweek’s lips, so Craig still care. Maybe their relationship still had a chance.


	3. Scattered Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes breakups make you eat the words that you just said and screw your head in ways you never thought possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't mind a song recommendation, I highly suggest listening to Oceans by Seafret. I'm listening to it while I wrote this chapter.

Or maybe they don’t.

Tweek chewed at the bottom of his lips. Could he do it? Talk to Craig and be genuinely alright after? Call him a coward but he did not think that he had the heart and courage for that yet. He… he did not want to be rejected again. It hurts, hearing that Craig did not want him anymore.

Absentmindedly, Tweek gathered his keys and wallet. For the second time, he left his phone on the kitchen table. Tweek never leave anywhere without his phone. He was always paranoid about what might happen if he did not have his phone with him. What if he was in an emergency and he needed to contact 911 and so the likes. However, he did not trust himself with his beloved phone for the day. He might end up calling Craig or worst of all his mom. He might spill things he was not prepared to share with anyone yet.

Tweek sighed. He needed time with himself when he was still sober, and he could think clearly for a moment. He needed his mind to be with him for today. He needed to ground himself, make up his mind on what he was supposed to do. Be a man in a relationship that he did not have a clue where would go.

_What’s there Tweek to think about? It’s already over._

With a soft click, his door locked behind him. He stared for a while at the wall right in front of him, suppressing the voices that he did not want to hear. He did not have an idea of what he was supposed to do. He was tempted to go back inside to his room and maybe wallow again in self-pity when he remembered that the Craig’s Box was still in there. He could not indulge himself in a pity party today or at least not today, he reminded himself.

His mind wandered back at the message he received from Craig. His stomach clenched like a blow was delivered to his abdomen. Craig wanted to talk. He must escape now. The talk could wait when Tweek was more emotionally stable. It could wait until Tweek was sure that he would not lose his composure and beg Craig to get back together with him. When was that? He did not have an idea. Maybe that would never happen in the first place.

A bitter grimace graced Tweek’s face. He clenched his heart through his chest. He hated feeling like this. Feeling this low that he did not know what to do with his life. He hated that he needed to think everything and to incidentally punish himself from overthinking. He hated all of this. He hated that he was becoming a large ball of fucking contradictions, making up his mind and taking it back in a quick snap. He just hated his life right now, but… but, he did not hate Craig. He could not hate Craig for Christ’s sake even though he was indirectly punishing Tweek for loving him too much.

“Fuck this.”

Tweek let his feet decide where he would go. Anywhere was good… or could be good, he did not know. Living without Craig is harder than he thought. Craig was like oxygen to him, something that he needed to breathe, to live, but on the other hand, Craig is much more important than that. Craig made him feel himself, made him feel alive and special, complete him in ways he never knew possible.

…

**I’m breaking up with you.**

The text message was simple as that.

Tweek did not know if it was funny or what, but it came from Craig. They never break up. The last time was when they were kids and playing a stupid superhero role-playing game. He felt oddly cold and shivers were running up and down his spine.

**what’s the matter?**

He replied minutes later. He chewed on his bottom lip and he left his desk together with the major report he needed to pass tomorrow morning. He needed to return to the lab this afternoon since he still had some experiments to run later. He also needed to warp up earlier in the lab since he needed to attend a group meeting that he never had the chance to attend to with how busy he was these past few days.

Tweek felt the pressure weighing invisibly on his shoulder. He felt his hands trembling badly. He had skipped his humanities elective for the whole week to work on the lab. He only had more than a month and he was still not done running all test he needed. He was not yet starting his manuscript and he only had a little over a month. His dad would kill him if he did not graduate this semester. He would never stop complaining about how he should study business and not biochemistry in the first place. And now Craig was… Tweek breath’s hitched. Craig would not do this to him now. He would not dare.

**I can’t do this anymore.**

It was the only reply that Tweek has received. He waited for almost an hour staring intently at his phone screen, waiting for a more elaborated explanation from Craig. The explanation did not come. To give Craig the benefit of the doubt he did not reply in the first place.

Tears started to leak from Tweek’s eyes. He still had so much to do, papers to finish, experiment replicates to run and exams to study for. Craig could not be this cruel, could he?

**What are you talking about?**

The day passed by and no reply came. It was the first time that he felt Craig betrayed him.

…

“Alright, mister. We’re done.”

Tweek stared at his reflection at the mirror. He looked familiar yet so different. A small smile graced his lips. He hadn’t worn his hair this short for a long time. It naturally spiked all around the place like it did when he was in grade school. He appeared younger, much more like himself when he was still a kid. He could not help but compared himself to a porcupine, the sole reason aside from Craig why he let his hair grow.

“Thank you,” Tweek curtly replied, patting at his hair.

It was soft and not as pointy as it appearance suggested that it would feel like.

“Getting over from a girl?” the girl who cut down his hair asked.

Tweek stared at her and smile politely. He could not bring himself to answer the question or correct it either.

“You look dashing, you should win her back,” she said good-naturedly, pushing her hair at the back of her ears. A blush dusted her cheeks. “It’s a huge loss that she was letting go of such a fine man as you,” the girl whispered.

Tweek watched as the girl turned into a bright pink color and smiled shyly at him.

“Thank you,” Tweek could only reply to the girl. Clearly in disbelief. He looked far way horrible for his own standards and this girl clearly had a crush on him.

Tweek felt a little bit good as he walked out of the shop. Maybe he could seduce Craig into getting back together?

Tweek bit his lips. There he went again, unconsciously thinking of ways to get back Craig. His breath hitched. Did he want Craig back? Of course. Deep in his heart and deep in his soul he never wanted anything than to have Craig back in his arms.

A moment of clarity engulfed him. What was he doing avoiding Craig in the first place? Craig wanted to talk. Craig still cared. Craig is troubled that was why he broke up with him. What was he doing? He was being an immature partner. Craig needed him now more than ever.

_Are you sure that Craig still wants you?_

A voice inside his head reminded him.

_He already breaks his promise to you almost a month ago._

Tweek felt eerily cold and empty.

…

Craig came.

Tweek never felt happier in his life. His plan worked. Craig was here picking him up in a bar that he holed himself every night for two weeks straight.

"You hated alcohol," Craig muttered as he snatched away the bottle that Tweek was cradling between his hands.

"I do not hate it. I don't like it," he answered, smiling bitterly.

"Then why are you drinking it?" Craig asked as he took a sip from the bottle.

"Don't know, maybe I'm trying to help myself in a way," Tweek started. He pried the bottle away from Craig's grasp and tipped it back to his mouth. "I don't like this shit,” he grimaced. “It makes it difficult for me to become addicted," he casually explained as if nothing was wrong with that.

Craig visibly flinched, but he let Tweek with his bottle, keeping a close eye to the blond.

"Let us get back together," Tweek muttered, staring intently at the liquor that he was nursing.

"I can't function, Craig. I never felt this empty before –" a sob escaped Tweek's lips.

He pushed the bottle away from him, finally looking at Craig. His once bright green eyes were sunken and dull, losing its shine. His eyes looked dead.

"Tweek..."

"Why... why did you need to torture me like this? Breaking up through a text? I don't deserve that, Craig," Tweek asked voice filled with pain. "Don't you ever love me?" he finally choked out, eyes searching deep into Craig’s.

Tweek heard no answer from him. The taller man just averted his gaze away from him, guilt marked his usual blank face, hands balled into fists at his side.

“For Christ’s sake. Fucking look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me!” he clutched Craig’s collar, tears leaking at his pale cheeks.

Their eyes meet, warm ocean blues against lifeless withered greens.

“Whoever told you that I _don’t_ love y-you?” Craig murmured into Tweek’s ears his own voice breaking. He let Tweek cry on the crook of his neck, his fingers threading thru Tweek’s blonde hair.  Craig guided Tweek’s smaller hand towards his chest.

Craig’s fingers were over his and Tweek could feel the way that Craig’s heart thumped underneath his palm.

“You’ll always in here, no matter what.”

…

“You’ll always be in his heart, but it does not mean that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you,” Tweek murmured to himself sadly.

He was surprised to find himself at the front of the café where Craig broke up with him yesterday. He shrugged as he entered, the place brought back a lot of memories and he could almost see images of him and Craig in this shop on his peripheral vision.

He ordered tea and a sandwich. He never did that, drink tea on this café and not order any sweet pastry in this café. It felt wrong. Not ordering his usual felt wrong. Going in here alone felt wrong. Being here without –

“Don’t go there, Tweek,” he reminded himself, preening down at his murky reflection on his amber colored tea. He looked miserable.

“Just don’t think…”

But his mind never worked that way.

Tweek remembered the time that Craig get back together with him after he broke up a month ago.

It was here. Here in this very café.

He closed his eyes and leaned back at his seat, tears freely leaking down at his face. He started to regret the fact that he cut his hair shorter.

“Don’t think about _that_.”

But his mind was as traitorous as he always remembered it to be.

He felt his heart crumble to pieces. It felt much worse than it did the day before. How could he forget about _it_? He made Craig promised him last time.

_“I promise that I’ll never break up with you as long as I love you.”_

The whole reality of their break up just crashed down on Tweek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit this chapter could be confusing. Don't hesitate to ask some questions if you're indeed confused.


	4. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes people break up because they don't know their feelings anymore. They're lost, but it does not mean that they don't care anymore.

Illusion Craig was in his room again.

Tweek rubbed his eyes on the sleeve of his olive-green button down. He was still sober, and his mind is already making an illusion of Craig. He noticed that the illusion was doing again what it was doing last time. It was gazing sadly at the framed picture at the top of the box, eyes downcast and lonely.

He dismissed the spitting image hallucination of his ex-boyfriend and he landed on his bed face first. He groaned as his body melted down on the mattress. He was emotionally and mentally tired and he was craving that dark nothingness that sleeps could bring him.

His plan for the day failed. He still had no solid idea what he wanted to do. Should he pursue getting back Craig or let him go without resistance? The latter did not seat well on him. If you really love someone would you just let them go as easy as that? Can you still call it love if you’re going to give up easily?

Love is supposed to be selfless, and he long recognized the fact that he needed to sacrifice a few things to make Craig happy, but… but this _is_ different. He was willing to do anything for Craig as long as Craig would still be in his arms not the other way around.

A hand ran through his hair, breaking Tweek’s line of thought. Goosebumps started to dot his arms, hair standing upright at the unexpected touch.

 “You cut your hair short,” Craig’s raspy voice filled his ear.

Tweek’s bewildered green eyes clashed with his favorite pair of ocean blues, chills went all over his body as if he saw a dead man rose from his grave.

Tweek blinked a couple of times, not believing his ears especially his eyes. He reached out for Craig’s left cheek and he could feel the undeniable warmth from it and the slight roughness caused by Craig’s stubble. Illusions Craig would not feel this real underneath his touch. As if realizing what he was doing, Tweek abruptly retracted his hand as if fire licked right through it.

“I thought I’m hallucinating when I first saw you,” he explained himself, voice barely above a whisper.

A nervous laughter bubbled from Craig after a soft ‘ohhh’ that escaped his lips. Craig cleared his throat as he pulled his hand away from Tweek’s hair. He let himself sunk on the bed with his back against Tweek. He removed his chullo from his head and fiddled with its flaps.

“Haven’t you read my text?” he asked.

Tweek could hear the slight hurt and accusation in there. He felt the need to defend himself, but he decided to say nothing and just stared at Craig’s back. He could not escape now _,_ could he?

An awkward silence filled the space between the two. No one bothered to talk for a minute. Craig’s hands were still busy at flaps of his chullo while Tweek removed his gazed at Craig’s broad shoulder. His eyes vacant as he looked at the bare wall opposite his bed.

Its cream color lulled his mind in a blank state. He never thought that staring at an off-colored wall could give him such a peace of mind.

Tweek closed his eyes to think. Craig was already in here there so there was really no point in prolonging the awkward atmosphere.

“Talk,” Tweek rasped out.

He briefly stole a glance at Craig’s direction. He saw the way that Craig tensed and how the taller man balled his chullo between his hands.

“I… I’m sorry.”

Tweek raised a brow. He waited for Craig to say something more as he continued staring at his wall paying only half of his attention to Craig. However, it seemed that Craig was not going to say anything more as long as he kept his silence.

Tweek sighed. He was tired of those empty apologies. If Craig was truly sorry he would not hurt him in the first place, right? He must have an ounce of an idea how breaking up would hurt Tweek. After all, it was not their first break up.

“Is that the only thing that you’re going to say?”

Craig finally pried away his attention from his abused chullo. Tweek could saw in his peripheral vision the way Craig was watching him. He could not fully saw it, but pain and regret were evident in his eyes.

Those eyes never lied. Craig has the most emotionless face he ever knew, but his blue eyes always tell emotions that never in his life Craig would dare to display on his face.

“I’m truly sorry even though I know that you don’t believe me,” Craig shifted his position and he was now fully facing Tweek. “Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

It was odd, but Tweek almost found it fascinating. Craig looked like he was going to cry. Never had he seen Craig like this. Craig always had his emotions in check. He never lost that calm and neutral expression on his face, unlike Tweek. It felt wrong that his face was baring too much emotion than Tweek had never seen before.

“You’re just being stupid,” Tweek answered trying to sound indifferent like he was not affected with how much emotions Craig was baring to him. “You’re the one who wanted to talk. Then talk,” he answered back.

Copying Craig, he shifted his position and he was now sitting crossed leg facing Craig. His eyes were defiant, unexpected fire burning in it.

Craig scoffed, rolling his eyes all traces of emotions on his face disappearing as if it was not there in the first place.

“You’re being extremely difficult.”

“And you’re being extremely stupid. You’re more extremely difficult to reason out than me.”

Craig snorted at Tweek’s throwback as if he was expecting that exact line from Tweek. Well, maybe he was, he had been with Tweek for a long time to have an idea what Tweek was supposed to say.

“I know,” Craig admitted as he raised both arms as a sign of surrender, not bothering to defend himself. “You don’t expect that did you?” Craig asked, smirking a little bit. He looked too smug for a person that claimed that he was being stupid and difficult.

It almost felt like everything was okay and they were just having their regular daily banter. Tweek taught that it was unfair, his eyes flickered down at the floor avoiding Craig’s. How could Craig talk to him like nothing was wrong? As if he did not break up with Tweek yesterday.

“At least, you’re aware how hard it is to put up with you,” Tweek muttered underneath his breathe, voice low enough that he was sure Craig would not be able to pick out what he said.

An awkward silence downed on the two again. Tweek draw his knees towards his chest. He rocked himself gently like a child consoling itself.

 “Where did you put your fluffy carpet?” Tweek followed Craig’s line of sight and realized that the other man must be looking around for his favorite rug to lay around.

 “Over there,” Tweek shrugged as he gestured to the big box at the middle of his room. “It’s all yours now. You can take it with you later.”

“Tweek…”

“I’m moving back to South Park after the graduation ceremony. You can have it,” for the second time he wished that he did not cut his hair short, so he could hide away his face from Craig. “My parents will appreciate that I’m only moving a few things back.”

“You’re going back to _South Park!?_ ”

Tweek was expecting that outburst at least.

“Yes.”

Tweek watched as Craig frowned at him. He raised a brow daring Craig to speak out his mind.

“What are you going to do in there?”

“Run Tweak Bros Coffee. What else?”

“Huh?” Realizing what he just said Craig tried to elaborate, “Why are you going to run that coffee house?”

“Cause what else am I supposed to do in there? Cultivate marijuana and run a meth lab?” Tweek asked sarcastically.

“It seems to fit your degree than running a coffee shop,” Craig answered snidely not missing a beat.

Tweek stared disbelievingly at Craig. His jaw set as he glared at the man.

“What’s your fucking problem?” he snapped.

“You going back to South Park and slaving again for your parents is my fucking problem!”

Craig’s glare almost burned Tweek. He felt himself bristling away from the man like one of that wild grass that he had seen on the internet that closed upon being touched. He found his own arms hugging his own skinny torso, unconsciously protecting himself from Craig. He knew that Craig would never hurt him physically, but he just had the urge to do so.

With a small voice, Tweek defended himself. “It’s not like I can follow my life plan anyways. Believe me, I never intend to go back there in the first place, but now I lost my reason for not going back,” feeling spiteful he added more than what he was supposed to say while glaring at Craig. “I’m not your business anymore, _Tucker_.”

Craig’s sharp intake of breath reached his ears. It felt good in a twisted way. Tweek never had an idea that he would love seeing Craig hurt by his own words. He felt vile, but he could not deny that it felt so, so _good_. It felt like he got even with Craig in a way and he was certain he did.

“I did not break up with you because I do not care anymore,” Craig pulled Tweek towards him surprising the blond. Craig’s larger frame enveloped Tweek’s in a tight embrace.

“Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck is wrong with you Craig?” Tweek pushed Craig away from him, angry tears at the corner of his eyes. “Are you fucking _blind!?”_ Tweek gestured to himself. “I’m fucking hurting because you broke up with me! And you’re saying that you still care!?” Tweek paused, laughing hysterically. “I made you promise, Craig. Did you already forget about _that_?”

“I break up with you ‘cause I don’t know what are my feelings for you anymore. I… I don’t know if I still love you. But I’ve been with you long enough that I will always care.”

Tweek felt his world stop. His ears ringing, he could not believe what he just heard.

“You don’t love me anymore?”

Tweek never heard his own voice sounding so little as he was hearing his own self now. He never really entertained the fact that Craig might not love him anymore. Well, he did a while back at the café, but he calmed himself thinking that there must be another reason than _that_.

“I… I don’t know, Tweek.”

“So, you did not break your promise after all,” Tweek said more to himself than to Craig. “At least I can still give you that, Tucker. Always true to your own words to a fault,” he added laughing bitterly.

Tweek slumped into Craig, hot tears trailed down into his cheeks down to Craig’s shirt. He tried to stop it, but it continued to flow down freely, and his vision started to blur down. He felt how the fabric started to get soaked with his tears.

Craig held him close. He thought that it was wrong being surrounded by Craig’s arms when he knew that Craig did not love him anymore, but… it felt nice. It felt right. And goddamn fuck it, he just wanted Craig to overload his senses one last time. To be surrounded with it before they parted.

Tweek choked down on his own tears. He wanted to die already. At least his last memory would be right here in Craig's arm. He could die in peace if he actually died right now.

"Tweek?"

"...yes?"

"I'm..."

Tweek reached over and pressed his index finger against Craig's lips, a sad smile stretched his lips.

_He was going to fucking apologize again._

"Stop apologizing. I'll be okay. Not now… but someday,” he murmured, staring up to meet Craig’s gaze with tears still leaking freely from his eyes.

He felt his heart clenched when he realized that Craig was crying too. He moved his finger away from Craig’s lips and he wiped away the tears from Craig’s face with his fingers.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to cry, you dummy! You’re the one who broke up with me, don’t make me the bad guy, dude. Please don’t cry,” Tweek attempt to joke his voice cracking and shaking. He could not stomach the sight of Craig crying before him. It made everything inside him ache.

“I promise... I’ll be alright. You have nothing to worry about me,” he whispered.

Tweek felt his eyes get heavier, he snuggled deep into Craig’s chest, tucking his head underneath the other’s chin.

“Can you hold me one last time?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chapter is pretty draining to write. I never really write something as serious and angsty as this. I'm more inclined to write stories with fluff, dry humor, and weirdness (i.e. my other story, lol). I don't know if I'm actually bringing this story a justice or not, and I'm going to appreciate any feedback. Also, I don't have a beta and I knew that I might mess up something along the way, so I'm apologizing for that. So, yeah. Thank you to everyone that has been reading this. It means a lot because this is also some sort of therapy fic for me.


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